So it's 2019 - and January is almost over as I'm writing this - and I feel like I'm just getting my head back in the game. I'm not sure why but between November 2018 and now, I haven't been on my A-game, which is definitely not like me. I have felt a mix of different emotions that I feel was holding me back both in life and business. I'm going to be as transparent as possible and share what's been going on, and how I'm moving forward.
Now that I've had time to really evaluate my feelings and what's been going on, I really think that a lot of it can be attributed to feeling overwhelmed - that and also adding feeling of self-doubt, anxiety and uncertainty. All of this makes for a terrible cloud of unhappiness hanging over me. I spoke with a few people who are close to me and they really couldn't see how I could feel this way. From the outside looking in, it appears that business is going well, I'm out and about being social, my son is well taken care off and the money rolling in. Honestly, all of those things are true. I've had a steady flow of clients for the last year and its been great. However, the overwhelm still remained.
You see, in 2018, I set out to accomplish everything that I wanted to do - especially work on projects that I had once put on the back burner, including going back into makeup artistry, launching a beauty brand and expanding my coaching business. But now that I think about it, how could I NOT have gotten overwhelmed. I'm a perfectionist. It's stressful enough trying to make one or two projects run smoothly, but here I am attempting to makeup about 7 run at once! Not only that, IT'S JUST ME! I don't have a team, an assistant, interns - nothing. When I posted on Instagram that "I move like a team, but it's just me..", I meant that - and it can be hard.
As I went about my day to day tasks, trying to keep everything going, I got sadder and sadder as each day passed. I was running my businesses with all of these thoughts in the back of my mind like: "What am I doing?" "I need help with this." "I'm about to fail." "I should really quit." "This isn't making me happy." It was to the point that I didn't even want to get out of bed some days because I didn't want to deal with any of it. I felt like I was doing way too much, but still not doing enough and living up to my potential. That's a terrible place to be in ya'll.
Now let me say this; it's a blessing and an honor to be able to work 100% for myself and have the time to be able to do the things that makes me happy and I don't take that for granted. However, what I have quickly learned is that just because you CAN make something that you love a business, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to or that you should.
For the last month or so, I completely disconnected. I disconnected from my work (with the exception of a few client projects), from social media, from everything. I decided to take some time to just focus on my mental and emotional well-being. I wanted to have a clear head and heart before decided on my next move. Thankfully, the way my business(s) are set up, I was able to keep getting clients and keep getting the bag, even though I took a break (boss sh*t).
Here's the thing. Entrepreneurship can be an amazing path, but you also have to be a special type of person to partake in it. You have to have a strong mind. You have to know how to humble yourself and allow yourself to learn from your failures. You have to be willing to stretch yourself and grow. Knowing this, I knew that I just needed some time, and I feel so much better now.
So yes, technically, I'm just now starting my 2019, and it's almost February - AND THAT'S OK! After my self-care/mental & emotional health break, here is what I'm working on:
Business Consulting/Digital Marketing - Among everything that I have going on, what I love the most is helping others to build their dreams businesses. This includes marketing, branding, sales strategy and more. I want to continue to do so through my company Motif The Agency . I've even added a monthly coaching option for those individuals who want more access and training. Go here to learn more or to book a meeting.
1 on 1 Mentorship & Coaching - I will be providing more intimate mentorship through my 1 on 1 coaching. Hop on my list so you'll know when this available!
In conclusion - listen to your intuition. Listen to your body when it tells you that you are doing way too much. It's ok to change directions if what you're doing isn't serving you and those that you hold dear to you. You have to do what's right for YOU. Don't apologize for that. Let's make 2019 amazing and I look forward to working with you!